07 10 / 2013

"It’s better to feel pain, than nothing at all. The opposite of love is indifference."

The Lumineers

26 3 / 2013

So today is a big day. The supreme court is listening to arguments about whether or not the ban on same sex marriage in California is legal. Tomorrow they will hear arguments about the Defense of Marriage Act (the united states definition of marriage being between one man and one woman), and rule on whether or not it is constituational. I just find it so bizarre that in today’s world, we’re arguing over who should legally be allowed to love and commit to one another.

I mean really, I have a hard enough time committing to a pizza topping, let alone a lifetime with someone. So, if you’re sure you want to love, cherish, honor, and live with someone else through sickness and health, I don’t care who you are, if you are willing to make that kind of sacrificial committment to someone, you should be allowed to do that.

If anything, I think divorce should be illegal. Once you commit to something that sincerely, you shouldn’t be allowed to walk away from it. Why aren’t we arguing for that? Why is no one standing up and saying, “Hey listen, it doesn’t matter who you marry, what matters is that once you’re married, you’re married to them until death do you part. You can’t just terminate the marriage because you feel like it.” It seems like the current system is defending the glorified right for some people to define their relationships, and then tarnish them. Doesn’t it seem like a lack of integrity to fight so hard for a right, and then to let people abuse it?

I’m just saying, if you’re going to have a stance on something, you need to be really firmly rooted in that stance. If you’re going to fight for marriage—regardless of your stance on it—you have to know that it has an antithesis and if you allow that to be, you can’t say that you’re fully committed to your belief. You can have marriage without divorce, but you can not have divorce without marriage. Why aren’t we fighting for no divorce? Why do we care who marries who? At the end of the day, it should be about how many people took that vow to be together, and are staying together, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. Aren’t those the things that define the institution of marriage, not who you’re actually marrying?

21 2 / 2013

So I’ve promised my friend we’ll play a game this week where he can tell me when to post in my blog, and I’ll reluctantly do it. For the record, I’m losing at this game. He told me to post over 24 hours ago and I’ve been putting it off. The main reason is because I thought this would be super simple—surely there is a lot going on in my life I could write funny things about, but it’s occurring as much harder than I thought. Who would have thought that it would be so difficult to come up with some witty things to say about my mediocre job and average life. Meh… 

So whats up with me? I tried to buy a town house the other day. I was totally shocked that I had the balls to do it and actually make an offer, and then I immediately started panicking once my offer was actually accepted. The bad news is it all fell apart anyways because the seller rewrote our entire contract, but the good news is I did it, and did not lose any money on it. I am disappointed though, I really had my heart set on living there. It was a neat little place with everything I wanted out of an apartment. My hope is that no one will be willing to jump through the sellers hoops and he’ll have no choice but to accept my even lower offer in 3 weeks. Take that seller man! Muhahaha. 

I’m looking forward to owning my own place. I can’t wait to have something that I’m invested in and that I’m proud of. I feel like the apartments I’ve been living in don’t hold any value for me and none of them feel like home. This is probably why I hate doing my dishes and vacuuming them and all that cleaning stuff that you’re supposed to do when you care about things…. or I guess just in general? It will be really great to have something that I care about and can take care of. If that place doesn’t work out, I hope I find something soon that I love. 

16 2 / 2013

So this week I’m challenging myself to write more. Like, a lot more. And like good stuff, not stuff that sucks and I write “like” every other word (doh!).

So last night, someone asked me if I’d ever wrote down exactly what my perfect job would entail, down to the knitty gritty deals—benefits, vacation time, salary, etc. Based on the face I made when he asked me this, it was blatantly obvious that I had not. Since I don’t know for certain what I want to do as a career, he thought it would be a great jumping off point to write all of those things down. My immediate response was “well, my perfect job doesn’t include many of those things. If I could get paid to write all the time, I would just do that.” So with that being said, here is what I want out of my  perfect job, as a writer. 

Salary: $50k per book up front, plus 15% gross profit from sales of books—hard and soft cover. Royalties on any book that gets turned into a movie or a TV show. 

Benefits: Being able to live or work anywhere. Texas, Connecticut, A cafe in Paris, a beach in Tahiti, where ever. Some kind of medical insurance offered (I’d at least stay on that until I got married, and then I’d just go on my Husband’s plan—hopefully he’ll have dental and vision too). A super flexible schedule; the ability to plan your days and nights however you want them to be—however plan in the occasional meeting in LA with my editor or press junket in NYC or national book tour.  

I’d have an office, not at my home, where I can work without distractions. I’d also have an office at my home, so that I can write when the whim strikes. 

So at some point my books will be turned into movies, and I’ll need to be on sets and consult on production. And eventually other people who want to follow the same path I did will enlist my services and I’ll start my own little consulting firm in which some corporate entity will buy me out within 2 years for no less than 3 million. Before the buy out though, I’d travel to the various places my clients would be, and meet frequently with their editors in New York and LA. Travel and work would only be on the week days though, the weekends are reserved for me. 

So those are the things I can think of that I want out of this career as a writer, and I’m sure it’s not a complete list. I’ll add as I think of things. For now though, I think I’ll look into writing some pieces for magazines. That may be a good start to this illustrious career as a writer that I aspire to have will have. 

27 1 / 2013

We can cry about it, or we can dance about it…

04 1 / 2013

Do you ever get the feeling
that we started in the middle
or have you ever had the sense
that we’ve been lying just a little
I mean come on
it’s not like we’ve known ourselves that long

and I can’t say I really blame you
for being bored with the beginning
always staring at the score
to figure out who’s barely winning
but don’t you know
there is a reason strong moves slow

and I’m okay
if you’re okay with
wasting time
but when you trace
you always see the bottom line

we are tracing
I hope you know
we are tracing

and if you want to know the moment
I knew that I was still alone
I found I’d never learned your number
I only stored it in my phone
you’d think by now
I’d know the shape of calling home

and I’m okay
if you’re okay with
wasting time
but when you trace
you know you’ll always face that bottom line

we are tracing
I hope you know
we are tracing
we’re both alone
we are tracing
we are tracing

did you ever get the feeling
that we started in the middle
or did you ever have the sense
that we were lying just a little
I mean come on
it’s not like we knew ourselves that long

03 1 / 2013

Pretty sure I’m having a quarter life crisis. Pretty sure I should write about it.

04 9 / 2012

"She wanted something else, something different, something more. Passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second."

Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook)

(Source: respectyourselfff)

04 9 / 2012

"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart"

Winnie the Pooh 

04 9 / 2012

"Life is like a pair of skinny jeans… 95% of the time, they’re not gonna fit right. So just enjoy the time that they do."